● From writer’s perspective, the Level/Type of this relationship is
:_ ROLE
●
Writer’s label
for the type of conflict (Psuedo,
Simple, or Ego): _
EGO
●
Writer’s
label
for the conflict (out of constructive
or destructive): _
DESTRUCTIVE
● Writer’s highest score for personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”- see text
● Summary of the problem/ the writer’s analysis/ the goals:
I work at a Mechanical and Maintenance company
called Jamco. My job there is to pick-up equipment and deliver it to job
sites where the mechanics are working that day. One of the most tenured
installers at Jamco is a guy named Rob. Rob has been in the business for 20
years. His hobbies include fishing, drinking, and vulgar language. I like
him personally, but sometimes he has been known to get out of hand and/or
run his mouth and once it led to a conflict between the two of us.
One day I was particularly busy. I
had to go far out of my way to deliver something to him that he should have
ordered the day before but forgot. I was a little agitated when I got to
his job site, but then he saw what I had picked up for him and flipped out.
Apparently, it was not what he wanted. He had called me and ordered one
thing which to me meant something else. Regardless of who was right (me),
he could not finish the job with what I had brought him. He began cursing
loudly and threw the items at me and told me to hurry up and get what he
needed.
I am usually not one for
confrontation, but I kicked the scattered items all over the customer’s
lawn, cursed Rob out loudly, got in the company truck and peeled out for
about fifty yards from the garage down the driveway and down the street.
●From writer’s perspective, what is the Level/Type of
this relationship:_
CLOSE
FRIENDS/INTIMATES
● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict ( Psuedo,
Simple, or Ego): _
SIMPLE {ideological}
●
Writer’s
label
for the conflict (constructive
or destructive): _ DESTRUCTIVE
●
Writer’s
highest score for
personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”-
see text We did
not talk for two weeks because we could not reach an agreement. We had two different views. My boyfriend
believed that I shouldn’t have a certain guy calling my phone because he
doesn’t trust that guy. As I see it, he doesn’t trust me and that I
should be able to have male friends whether he trusts them or not. I did not see the need to reach an
agreement because I was right and he was wrong. The conflict was like a debate; we
couldn’t agree on anything and I wasn’t going to agree with him. Eventually, I managed our conflict by
accommodation just to please him so we could talk again. I know
that this conflict is going to rise again because I still believe that I am
right and he is wrong. He won because I let him -- not because he was
right. When the conflict rises again I am going to manage my conflict differently.
HOW SHOULD THIS CONFLICT BE MANAGED
(RESOLVED)
THE NEXT TIME IT COMES UP ???
Also consider: are there
additional sources/types of conflict and additional CM styles operating
here?
AVOIDING / COMPETING /
ACCOMMODATING / COMPROMISING
/ COLLABORATING
●From writer’s
perspective, what is the
Level/Type of this relationship:_CIRCUMSTANCE
●
Writer’s
label
for the conflict (constructive
or destructive): _ CONSTRUCTIVE
●
Writer’s
highest
score for personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management
Style”- ● Summary
of the problem/ the writer’s analysis/ the goals:
In my role and job as the oldest and
family “big sister” I have found myself torn between my assumed role and my
individuality. As a teenager, my relationship with my siblings soon shifted
from the relationship of circumstance to me wanting to make it a
relationship of choice.
A perfect example of this was when my
younger sister Courtney, who is two years younger, started high
school. She was a bright, beautiful,
and talented in almost everything she did.
However I was the social butterfly of the family and in school, and
Courtney just kept to herself. Being
in an all-girls, “catty” Catholic
high school, Courtney found herself torn between being part of the “smart
or nerdy crowd” versus being with the “fast” crowd. For me this was beyond frustrating; it
was embarrassing that my sister could not just be content by being
herself. Courtney and I grew apart, and the
pseudoconflict between us seemed to last for over two years. I refused to try and understand her;
rather I yelled every time she would come home from school upset about the
drama with her friends. My
conversations with her were initially constructive and quickly shifted to
destructive because my advice to her was perceived as criticism and me
trying to boss her around. Looking
back I’m sure that there is some truth behind her statement, but also have
to wonder if our conflict was simply because of our different personalities
and perceptions on life. Finally
after my parents became tired of our war zone-of-a-house, my mother sat us
down and tried having us try and compromise with one another. She wanted us to be able to be honest,
and that initially turned sour and nasty, with the both of us throwing
words back and forth and at one point turning it into a physical
battle. My parents even went to the
lengths of having counselors brought into the picture, which resolved a few
issues that we seemed to have with one another. After I went off to college and Courtney
assumed the role of big sister, I seemed to notice a change in her behavior
and overall attitude towards the entire family. HOW COULD THIS
CONFLICT HAVE BEEN MANAGED (RESOLVED) EARLIER/MORE EASILY ??? How can similar conflicts between these
2 people be managed in the future??? Also
consider: are there additional
sources/types of conflict and additional CM styles operating here?
Also consider:
how much does the power
differential influence the way(s)
this conflict can be resolved?
Also
consider:
has/could the type of conflict evolve(d) into as additional type?
Also consider:
Is
there something unusual about the writer’s scores & rankings on
conflict management style?
● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict (Psuedo, Simple, or
Ego): _ SIMPLE
AVOIDING _4_
/
COMPETING_5_
/
ACCOMMODATING / COMPROMISING
/
COLLABORATING
●From writer’s perspective, what is the Level/Type of
this relationship:_
INTIMATES / CIRCUMSTANCES
● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict ( Psuedo,
Simple, or Ego): _
SIMPLE
●
Writer’s
label
for the conflict (constructive
or destructive): _ CONSTRUCTIVE
●
Writer’s
highest score for
personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”-
see text
The conflict that occurred between my mother and me was whether or not
I should drive my car to work at the mall (back when I had just gotten the
job) Back then I worked a closing shift.
My car is relatively new (2001), and my
mother knows all about the random crimes that occur in the
This is a simple conflict, a clash
of different ideas and intentions.
HOW CAN THIS CONFLICT BE MANAGED
(RESOLVED)
NOW ???
Also consider: how much does the power differential
influence the way(s) this conflict
can be resolved?
AVOIDING / COMPETING /
ACCOMMODATING / COMPROMISING
/ COLLABORATING
From writer’s perspective, what is the Level/Type of this relationship:_ ROLE / CIRCUMSTANCES
● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict ( Psuedo,
Simple, or Ego): _
EGO
●
Writer’s
label
for the conflict (constructive
or destructive): _ CONSTRUCTIVE
●
Writer’s
highest score for
personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”-
see text
● Summary of the
problem/ the writer’s analysis/ the goals:
Recently my mother and I had a conflict. My mother and I went to visit my
grandmother, but in the morning before we left our house, I took quite a
long time to get ready. I purposely
took my time and did not rush because I was upset that my mother only had
told me that we were going that same morning, but she expected me to get
ready quickly despite the short notice. Another reason why I was being
disobedient & reluctant to
cooperate was because I had plans to
go to the mall with a friend.
My mother was upset because she did not
believe I had the right to be upset -- being the child and all. What I did not know, and what my mother
did not tell me until we got to my grandmother’s house is that we were going
to take her to a doctor’s appointment.
If I had known that I would not have been in such a bad mood and I
would have gotten ready more quickly.
Once we were out of the house though, everything was better, I was
no longer upset because I had already accepted the events of the day, and
my mother was no longer upset because I was finally ready and we were on
our way. I felt rather foolish once
I found out about the doctor’s appointment and I apologized.
True, I did not know her intentions, and I
could have trusted her judgment, but it never would have happened the way
it did if my mother would have told me in advance of her plans to include
me in the trip to the doctor’s office.
HOW COULD THIS CONFLICT HAVE
BEEN MANAGED
(RESOLVED)
EARLIER/MORE EASILY ??? How can similar conflicts between these 2 people be
managed in the future???
Also consider: how much does
the power differential influence the way(s) this conflict can be resolved?
|
●From writer’s perspective, what is the Level/Type of
this relationship:_ ROLE/CIRCUMSTANCE_____
● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict (Psuedo,
Simple, or Ego): _ PSUEDO ● Writer’s label
for the conflict (constructive
or destructive): _ CONSTRUCTIVE ● Writer’s highest score for
personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”-
pp. 232-3 AVOIDING / COMPETING /
ACCOMMODATING /
COMPROMISING / COLLABORATING
● Summary of the problem/
the writer’s analysis/ the goals: I work
at a family-owned restaurant and catering business. A recent conflict I had there was a
pseudoconflict with my boss. We were
catering a party last weekend and both of us assumed the other one had
booked the servers for the party.
Unfortunately, neither of us had.
As a result, we both rushed to the party and served at it
ourselves. This was a pseudoconflict because of the lack
of communication and lack of understanding of who should deal with the
server company. My first instinct
was to get upset and tell him he’s unorganized because I had to cancel
plans. HOW CAN THIS CONFLICT BE MANAGED (RESOLVED)
NOW & IN THE FUTURE ??? Also consider: are there additional sources/types of conflict
and additional CM styles operating here? |
●From writer’s perspective, what is the Level/Type of
this relationship:_ ROLE/FAMILY_____ ● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict as Psuedo, Simple, or Ego: _ SIMPLE___ ● Writer’s label for the conflict as constructive or
destructive: _ (was
left blank) ● Writer’s highest score for
personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”-
pp. 232-3 ● Summary of the
problem/ the writer’s analysis/ the goals: The last conflict that I had would be
categorized as a simple conflict. The conflict occurred because I began to
show interest in purchasing a new vehicle. My current automobile is a ’98 and I feel that it is not
going to hold up much longer. My parents had a huge problem with this
because they feel that rather than worrying about material goods I should
be concentrating on my education. The problem with this is that my parents
do not understand that the primary reason that I would like a new car is
because I no longer feel safe in my present vehicle. When your father tells
you before you leave the house “ Chris, make sure that you take your turns
slowly because if your cv joint pops
you are going to be stranded,” it is not exactly comforting. As you can see
this conflict is due to our different perceptions about why I want a new
car. My parents think that I want a new car because my car is not “cool”;
they feel that because it gets me where I need to go, I can make do. We
have been arguing about this. HOW CAN THIS CONFLICT BE MANAGED (RESOLVED)
NOW ???
AVOIDING /
COMPETING / ACCOMMODATING / COMPROMISING
[poss.] / COLLABORATING [poss.]
F04-5 fm/FR {NOTE:
names
&
some details have been changed &/or paraphrased to preserve anonymity}
●From writer’s perspective, what is the Level/Type of
this relationship:_ CIRCUMSTANCE_____ ● Writer’s label
for the type of conflict (Psuedo,
Simple, or Ego): _
SIMPLE ● Writer’s label
for the conflict (constructive
or destructive): _ CONSTRUCTIVE ● Writer’s highest score for
personal Conflict Style: “Identifying your Conflict Management Style”-
pp. 232-3 ● Summary of the
problem/ the writer’s analysis/ the goals: My
cousin had consulted me about planning a birthday get-together with her
friends & family for her 32nd birthday. She made a last minute
decision to move the location of her mini-festivity to another club
rather than the original place. On the day of her party, I lost my
cell phone in the early afternoon. Since I do not know her phone
number by memory, I couldn't call her. I had hoped that she
would leave a message on my voicemail so that I could call her back.
In the later evening, she did call, but left no number where she could be
reached. I eventually had to get my cell phone service turned off,
and didn't get another phone from the insurance company until a week
later. The same day my new phone came and service was turned
back on, my cousin called me, and I answered the phone not even recognizing
the number. As soon as I answered, she immediately went into
attack mode with her barrage of questions: "Why did you stand me up?
What happened to you that night? You couldn't even call your
cousin? What... I don't deserve a phone call?" HOW CAN THIS CONFLICT BE MANAGED (RESOLVED)
NOW ??? Note: Don’t focus on
the ways the writer could have avoided having to miss the party (that’s
rather obvious) ; just work on resolving the current
conflict ( which is no longer “simple” ). Also consider: are there additional sources/types of
conflict and additional CM styles operating here?
AVOIDING / COMPETING /
ACCOMMODATING / COMPROMISING / COLLABORATING
Team’s C.M. Recommendations [ based on material in Chaps 8, 9,
10, 11, 12 (4e)]: (continue onto back if necessary) ● They both need to change the way they communicate
because this is both bad for business and their personal relationship. This was
just a simple miscommunication in which for the next time they need to come
together and make sure they have things set up. ● They have to communicate better. They must
collaborate better. ● The parties must both use better management
information like better listening skills and understanding what the other
party is saying. Listening is important to both the business and the way
they listen is also important. They must start to improve listening by
actual meeting and talking. They also must both understand the situation
and each other. They both must clearly convey and retain answers and
questions -
Both parties must remain other-oriented. This
could have been avoided by thinking in a self-less way saying to oneself is
“Did B hire the servers this time or maybe I should pick up the phone.” Or
“B hired the servers last occasion I think I might have to do it.” They
both could still use “I” statement better. -
There is really not much to negotiate only maybe
in the way they plan things and they should avoid the win/lose way because
they got the party but almost at their expense. ●
<Conflict
& Relationships>
1st: Analyze the
situation in the case study via this 4 step process:
- using the original write-up
-
using applicable items from pp. 223-236 (some of these items have already been broached
on the case study sheet.)
- using applicable items studied previously this semester such as perception, culture
- using the “relationship challenges/dark sides” from pp. 316-333
2nd: Determine
where the parties’ goals overlap & where they diverge.
3rd: consider the parties’
respective conflict management styles .
4th: as a team,
make specific recommendations about…
Ø
How the parties can/should
handle emotions (p.240-243)
Ø
How the parties
can/should manage information (p.243-5)
Ø
How the
parties can/should be “other-oriented” ( p.242 & 245-6)
Ø
How the
parties can/should use negotiation
strategies(p.237-9)
5th: submit all
worksheets & notes
Team’s C.M. Recommendations [ based
on Chap 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 (4e)]: (continue
onto back if necessary) Case = _________________________________________________ Team =
___________________________________________ ● ● ● ●
Conflict
& Relationships – the Debrief activity #3
Pre-session:
As a
team, look at my annotations to your
recommendations page. If I were sitting in on
your debrief sessions, these are the questions I would
ask.
Step one:
In no
more than 5
minutes, as a team, orally summarize your
case & your reasoning to
the
other team(s)
Things
to highlight:
Ø key items in the case study that
particularly influenced your analysis & recommendations [ e.g. presence of anger,
personal CM style, level of relationship. Power dimensions]
Ø key Chapter 8 concepts that are particularly relevant
to this case [ e,g, simple conflict vs
ego conflict, assertive vs aggressive]
Ø your 3-4 specific recommendations with a
brief rationale for each [ e.g. if you recommend
a “ mutually acceptable location” –
explain that’s because the competitive symmetrical tendencies in the
relationship would benefit from neutral ground which may diffuse the evident power struggles ]
Step two:
the other team should listen
critically & evaluate the quality of the
recommendations that you hear. Play
“devil’s advocate” . challenge any recommendation
that does not seem to be based on the
Interpersonal Toolbox
that we have been
developing over the course of the
semester.
Step three: of
the 2-3 cases you’ve just summarized,
which one
would the class-as-a-whole
learn the most from?