it'd bring a tear to nips glass eye (SERIOUS)

Oh magoo you've done it again. Oh you modern women. Old Billy Bob' s got the fastest boat on the whole Goddamn river. A woman like you makes me wish i had three hands - you're doing just fine with two. Nice car where do you put the batteries. Who do it the whiteboy Hatcher - 'im ah dead. The secret with screwface is 'e a got two 'eads and a four eyes. Right enough of the nips ramblings and on to the real message here.

As you may know i'm a famous actress 'Naked Gun (1,2 1/2, 3 1/3, police squad, cool runnings, and platoon - as well as cameos in the a team(i'm not flying on no plane you crazy fool). But as well as this i am a veteran of 'Nam. I too served in the tunnel rats (was there another division to be in) all the people who said they were in 'Nam unless they were tunnel rats they might as well have stayed in their ghettos/trailer parks. I was the lead sniper for the tunnel rats along with private Elvis 'the only good Gook is a dead one' Presley. We used to snipe the women first to lower the morale of the Gooks. Then we used to take over the noodle shops - Gook can't eat can't fight. Then we used to sew up the Nips eyes - Gook can't see can't fight. After this we used to cut their legs off with their own origami scissors - Gook can't walk can't fight. This was thanks to the Terry 'quiksilver' Silver school of karate (Karate Kid 3). Also related to 'Nam we used to get the Nips ears and make them into necklaces a great present for our wives (Joan Collins is mine - she loved it and she always wears it). Then i remember when we found a load of skinned villagers hanging from a tree - and all the Vietkong could say before we ate them for tea was - the jungle came alive and took 'em. So when you read this i hope it not only makes you remember how great 'Nam was but also how many Gooks got rafted hahahaha.

Can i just say to the owner of this website what a useful and informative site it has been and has helped me relive the glory days