Vietnam info

An elephant ate my entire regime so I burned down a village full of Iraqi children. Then I went to see my commanding officer to return his glass eye that i barrowed. After I got out of the POW camp I traded my coat with that of Hessian spy, unwittingly. I only realized what I had done as they were leading me to the gas chamber. I found a note inside the inner pocket of the coat. It was written in code but the idiot signed it Hessian spy. They found me as I was reading it and decided to interrogate me some more. I told them everything that they already knew and nothing more, and still they spat on me when I returned from the war. I never got a purple star or an orange cross. I escaped from the gestapo by taking a job as a librarian and escpaed in a laundry shute. Now I am stuck working in the American Embassy in Lybia. It is so borring here. What can I say after you've seen one coup d'etat you've seen them all.