32 year and I still angry

32 years and I cant undo the killing in Nam and I cant undo the pain and the survival guilt but I did care and wanted to fight against the spread of Communism.They are the enemies of peace and freedom in the world and they are also terrorist that terrorize freedom.I did 4 tours of NAM and when I came back and other also there was no Victory parade. When I got of the service and was going home and at the air port I was spit upon. I we later beat up and left for dead by a group on anti protesters. I lost my familty becuase my mother and father was now part of the movement and I lost my family. I was thown out of the house in which I never can back or seem them again.there dead now and I`am glad . I was so scared to go out in pubic because the anti war protester movement in Chicago Ill. I started to drink and did drugs LSD and they to kill myself too. I could not keep a job becuase of the fear of living in the USA, my nightmears and my flashback and feeling numb .I had no feelings. Icould not hold a job I lost all what little friends I had left.I was alone and then I became homeless for a long time. There are 3 years in which I can not remeber where I was or where I am I found myself in Moscow Idaho then Del Rio Texas. I could not from any relationship. I have never been on a date or been with a woman after getting out of the service. I sexauly shut down and nother have ever work again.I have live for 30 years with hate for what the anti war protester did to me. I hate them because I lost my family because of them. I lost my home becuase of them. it only been in the last 4 year ago that I got help from the VA and was brought in by a fellow vet.I dont know to this day how I got there but I do know that he save my life.thow I still wake up in the morning just like today I wish I would die . The VA have me on antipsychotics to control all of this and I got this computer 3 years ago and it is my only voice to the world because I cant go out in public. This Draft Dogers long hair srinky dirty long hair freaks are like the new RAP CRAP fuckers of today.Some people say that there is no communist but there well and alive, thye use the internet and they are also the terrorist of the world . The anti war movment are the enemies of PEACE . You have to pay a price for ,that peace. I war there is no room for debate and dialogue with hippie freaks. what they did to America was to demoralize us fightmen and the country and also to cause Europe and other countrys to go against the USA. The anti war movment did not really care about the war .they care fior there ego and the power that they were feeling. they were not of MORAL CHARACTER. most of them wre in drugs and also dealing in them ,They were there the biggenings of the Anarchistic movment and nemebr of SDS the BLACK PANTHERS and the dam green peace movment dam tree huggers. and there free love and gay life style have demoralize what America is all about.They undermind are freedom and what is good about america.Iam awhere that they are regrouping. here in San Antonio at two universities that they are planing to prtest with we go into IRAQ. I dont know if I could control myself because of what was taken from me .I lost my youth and 32 years. becuase of them.if it happen I may just kill them if they do this.I say to you all fuckers out there that protested.I f I could I would kill you a thousand time over and over.Iam only one Nam vet talkinh here. I know that there must be other here that gone though the same thing!