The day a part of McCauley "Home Alone " Caulkin was inside me

Hull you cock licking son of bitch, I've heard some Jive bunny in my time but never on the premesis. I never sword you in the 69th batalion of the pink berreys when the ballon went up in '64. That was when me, John "Cool runnings" Candy, Roy "Catchphrase" Walker and Hulk "Rocky III" Hogen got taken in with what we called Gook fever. I remember taking a bullet for Candy only to be repayed with a good ass stabbin from the lethal one eyed viet cong trouser snake. On my return the only reward I got was to be packed owf to the Fucklands war. That was were I met Cyrill Regis over a hand of Poker in the fanny with a hot rod. It was at the stage then of having to grease my plastic leg at least twice a week due to the number of Argey bargey that was taking place, we would line them up six by four and knock em down with turtle shells that we would find off the Galapacus islands, but thats a diferent war and a different kettle of fish....never look a three leged gift horse in the mouth, never. Well time to grease the chopper, next corespondance that I receive from you should be a written apology stamped by wax made from melted down nip hair (alive ones only, I still have a couple in my wardrobe for pleasure and luck), and remember a gook in the grave is worth two in the nest. Everett.